1,283
by loveinunison
Summary: She hadn't been able to breathe correctly in one thousand, two hundred and eighty three days. One hundred twenty six million breaths with shards in her heart. Beca Mitchell was missing a piece of herself. She had let a piece of herself go, willingly, because she was too stubborn to admit her feelings.
1. Chapter 1

One thousand, two hundred and eighty three days.

She hadn't been able to breathe correctly in one thousand, two hundred and eighty three days. One hundred twenty six million breaths with shards in her heart. Beca Mitchell was missing a piece of herself. She had let a piece of herself go, willingly, because she was too stubborn to admit her feelings.

After the USO tour Beca had signed a record deal, moved to LA, and tried to forget everything she felt for Chloe. Somewhere around day 184 she let contact between her and the red head drop off; it was too hard hearing everything about Chicago and how wonderful he was. Chloe tried to keep in touch of course, she called and texted, facetimed, even wrote a few emails. That stopped on day 238. Chloe sent her an email apologizing for whatever she did, and told her she would leave her alone. Beca started drinking heavily after that email.

Day 287 consisted of Beca's first Grammy nomination. The Bellas all messaged her throughout the day congratulating her, all except Chloe. Beca smashed her phone into the wall before midnight.

Day 366 was the day Emily showed up at her LA apartment. She was pissed, rightfully so, and demanded an explanation as to why Beca had up and disappeared on all of the Bellas. Beca wasn't planning on giving her a real reason, she had already prepared for this conversation eventually and knew what excuse she was going to go with, but Emily called her on her shit before she had a chance to give an excuse. Emily told her she knew, she had seen Beca's face when Chicago kissed Chloe. She had watched the brunette head back to the hotel directly after. Beca didn't know why, but she lost it when Emily told her this. She'd been holding everything in for a year, longer when it came to her feelings for Chloe, and she broke down. After two hours of crying, talking, and drinking Emily's concoction for heartbreak, Beca felt better. Emily hugged her (she allowed it for once) and told her she needed to get in touch with the Bellas again. They all knew how she felt about Chloe and they were there for her. She promised Emily she would do better, and she did.

Day 412 was the first time Beca slept with a woman. Stacie had come out to see her, stating that Emily gave them all scheduled "Beca Time" to make sure the brunette didn't lose herself. Stacie took her to a gay bar (Beca didn't want to go) and told her she had to do something to deal with this. Either she could call Chloe and tell her how she felt, or she could hit on someone else tonight. Beca chose the latter.

Day 487 was the first time she accidently drunk dialed Chloe. She was at her album release party, for her second album, and Titanium was playing. She didn't realize she had left her a voicemail until the next day. Chloe never returned her call.

Days 623 through 694 were a blur. Beca was on tour during that time. She barely remembers the places she toured, let alone anything else during then. She does know she still dreamed of Chloe every night.

Day 712 was a breaking point. She was in New York visiting Fat Amy after getting a bit of a break from working on her first producing album. The two were sitting in a small coffee shop on 7th Ave, discussing Beca's switch from singing to producing and how much she was loving it. No more tours, not as much pressure in the public life, and still a good amount of money. It was were Beca wanted to be, and Amy was happy for her. As they discussed LA life Beca looked toward the door and saw her. It had been just shy of two years but Chloe Beale looked just as lovely as ever. Everything about her was the same, with the exception of the ring Beca could clearly see on her left finger. Chloe turned toward the table as Beca stood up quickly to leave. She burst past Chloe and out the door as she heard Fat Amy calling after her. She knew she should turn around, this was ridiculous, it had been two years she should be over everything by now. In her mind she told herself she was over it, but seeing Chloe in that moment she realized nothing had gone away. Her emotions hit her full force, and she hopped in a cab back to her hotel.

Day 713 was the first time she heard from Chloe. She woke up to a text asking if they could talk. Beca didn't respond.

Day 783 Beca decided to go to therapy. She couldn't get past a first date without thinking about Chloe, comparing them to Chloe, wondering what Chloe was doing. She needed help. She had to get over this. Her therapist asked her if she'd ever told Chloe how she felt. They then recommended she take a week vacation to New York and set up a time to talk to Chloe while she was there. She needed to get everything out in the open to be able to move on. Beca didn't go back to therapy.

Day 910 was the next time Beca drunk dialed Chloe. Technically it was day 909 but she wasn't aware of it at that time. She saw on her phone that she had called, and apparently Chloe answered and they had a seven minute conversation. Beca had no recollection of the call and no idea what she had said to Chloe. She didn't want to know. She deleted the contact from her phone.

Day 964 CR came to LA to see Beca. They were in the middle of dinner with CR let it slip that Chloe had broken things off with Chicago. Beca didn't want to ask, but she couldn't help asking why. CR told her she wasn't really sure, it had happened around 2 months ago. Chloe told the girls he just wasn't the right person for her. Beca had to fight down the desire to ask more questions. She didn't deserve Chloe Beale after the way she had left. She knew this, and judging by the lack of contact, Chloe did too.

It was day 1004 as she was sitting in Mrs. Junk's living room drinking hot chocolate with Emily, that her mistakes over the last years hit her in the face. Or the heart, to be more accurate. As they all sat in the living room reminiscing over worlds and the USO tour, Emily showed Beca a picture she had from the last day of the tour. It was a picture of Bec and Chloe; they were sitting in front of a fountain not paying attention to the camera but laughing at something one of them had said. Beca felt her heart splinter as she took in one of the last times she had been genuinely happy. Emily noticed that Beca was getting emotional and quickly flipped to the next picture she had in the pile. Beca stopped her, and asked where she had gotten that picture from. She didn't remember seeing it in any of the scrapbooks Emily had shown her over the years. Emily looked away sheepishly and told Beca that Chloe had given it to her a couple of weeks ago when she was in New York recording. It had been sitting in a picture frame on her desk, and when Emily asked about it Chloe said she should take it. It was, and Emily swore these were the exact words, too hard for Chloe to look at anymore.

It took Beca until day 1023 to text Chloe. She had gotten her number again from Emily before she left back to LA, with the intent of texting Chloe that night. Fear of course had stopped her from actually following through. She probably never would have followed through if it wasn't for her getting word that she was going to be nominated for record of the year. Before she even realized what she was doing, Chloe's contact was up on her phone. She contemplated what to do, hovering over the dial button before shooting off a quick text asking if Chloe would be okay with calling her when she had a chance. After she hit send she regretted it. What if Chloe actually called her? What was she supposed to say? She wouldn't admit to herself that she was more scared that Chloe wouldn't call.

Day 1024 was the first time Beca heard Chloe's voice in over three years. She noticed the name on the caller ID and answered with a hesitant hello. Chloe's voice was soft, apologizing for not responding to her text the previous day. She asked what Beca wanted her to call for, and Beca told her about the nomination for record of the year. She didn't know why, but Chloe was the only person she wanted to tell about it. If she was honest, she did know why, she just couldn't admit to herself that after all this time she was still in love with Chloe Beale. She hadn't seen her (excluding the coffee shop) in over three years, she didn't even really know her anymore. How could she still be in love with her? She did know her though, she would always know Chloe better than she knew herself. Chloe being her perfect self of course, congratulated Beca and told her how proud she was. They only spoke for eight and a half minutes before Chloe had to go back to work. It was the happiest eight and a half minutes in the last three years of Beca's life.

The phone call between her and Chloe opened a lot of shadows Beca had been pushing back. By day 1032 she decided to go back to therapy. They spoke about Chloe this time as well, but they spoke more about Beca and her reasons behind not telling Chloe how she felt. She began seeing a connection between her being closed off and her cutting her best friend out during her therapy session, and decided she should keep seeing him. She continued until day 1120, when he advised she take that week long vacation now. She had worked through a lot of residual anger and resentment that she didn't realize she was holding, and he thought she was ready to talk to Chloe. This time she decided to take her therapists advice, and bought tickets to New York for a vacation after she finished the album she was currently working on.

Day 1203 she stepped into the same coffee shop on 7th Ave that she'd seen Chloe last. This time though, she had invited her here. The two had spoken a handful of times since the first phone call, but never about anything other than work and the Bellas. Beca was ready though, to apologize for cutting Chloe out and try to rekindle a friendship with the red head. She was not expecting to tell said redhead that she'd been in love with her for 5 years. She was not expecting to admit to being hurt and jealous about Chicago and that being the reason she left. She was definitely not expecting to admit she still had feelings, even after all this time. She didn't expect Chloe to tear up and walk out either.

She received a phone call from Stacie on day 1209. She was leaving New York that evening but Stacie asked if she could come to Boston, where she was working, before she flew out. Beca drove to Boston and met Stacie at her apartment, where she found out Chloe had called her after leaving Beca in the cafe. Chloe was hurt, angry, confused and asked Stacie if she had known. Stacie of course told her the truth, that all of the Bellas knew. She told Chloe about Emily's "Beca Schedule" and about how they all had received phone calls from drunk Beca at some point in the last few years. Chloe had yelled at her for not telling her, but apologized and said she understood why they didn't mention it. Stacie told Beca she wasn't positive, but it seemed that Chloe might reciprocate some of the feelings Beca had. Beca got drunk that night too. She also moved her flight to the next day.

Nothing was different in Beca's life until day 1243. She was leaving work on a Friday, excited to actually have a weekend to rest for once, when her phone rang. She saw it was Aubrey Posen. Confused, she answered the call. The first words out of Aubrey's mouth stunned Beca. Do you love her? Aubrey repeated herself when Beca didn't say anything. Beca stammered a quiet yes and then the line went dead. Beca had no idea what to think of that phone call, but she went on throughout her evening. Around 10 o'clock that night she got a video call from Emily. She had been drinking, but wasn't drunk yet so went ahead and answered. Immediately she saw Emily, Stacie, Flo, CR, Amy, and Aubrey sitting around the screen. Beca barely got a hello out before Aubrey began talking. "Here's the deal Beca. Chloe is all fucked up because of your visit. Apparently her oblivious self honestly had no idea how you felt about her and now she thinks she's a horrible person for parading her relationship with Chicago around in front of you. She's pissed that you didn't say anything and that you left her, but she blames herself." Beca sat stunned, she didn't want Chloe blaming herself. It wasn't her fault. She was about to say as much when Stacie jumped in. "Chloe's in love with you Beca." Beca could help the what that came out of her mouth at that. Aubrey gave Stacie a chastising looked but allowed her to continue. "She broke up with Chicago after you called her drunk one night. I don't know what you said, she wouldn't tell me, but she said she realized after that. It had always been you. And she thought she'd missed her chance so she begged me not to say anything to you." Emily joined into the conversation. "That's why she gave me that picture. She doesn't think she deserves you. And you don't think you deserve her. You two are MADE for each other!" Aubrey shushed the rest of the girls and looked at Beca, who at this point could barely put two thoughts together. "Beca, Stacie is right. Chloe is in love with you, probably always has been. But you fucked up, both of you. So I need to know if this is still what you want. If you're not one hundred percent sure you want Chloe in your life we'll hang up right now and pretend this call never happened. Chloe is my best friend and I'm not going to let you hurt her because you still haven't learned how to express your feelings." Beca shook her head no quickly and told Aubrey she wanted this. She didn't want anything but this. She couldn't believe any of this was happening, but she wanted Chloe more than anything. Aubrey told her to clear her schedule for next week and she'd get back to her with the plan. Beca slept soundly for the first time that night.

Day 1251 was the day Beca moved back to New York. She had convinced her office to let her open their new label, calling it Blue Eyed Records. It wasn't in the Aubrey plan, but Beca couldn't let the opportunity pass her up. In the last nine days she had spoken to her therapist, most of the Bellas, even her dad about Chloe and had decided she was going to make things right. She would get her best friend back, and hopefully more. She needed the redhead in her life.

Day 1263 she asked Chloe to come down to the new label. The two had been texting fairly regularly since "operation Beale" as Fat Amy called it, had officially begun. "Operation Beale" really just consisted of all the Bellas bombarding Chloe the way they had Beca, asking her the same questions, telling her how Beca felt and things she'd said, and telling her they should talk. The first phone call had been awkward but necessary, with apologizing on both sides and laughter about the Bellas meddling. After that, they had mostly texted, with a couple of calls in between. Beca had told Chloe she was coming back to New York and wanted to see her when she had a chance. That day was today.

Day 1271 became the day Beca realized how much she missed having Chloe in her life. Of course she knew she missed her, but Beca didn't know until then just how big a part of her life Chloe had been. They were sitting in Chloe's office having lunch, talking about their days when it hit Beca out of nowhere. She had wasted 4 years not having days like this because she was scared. She hadn't been there for her best friend when who knew what she had gone through, because she couldn't accept her feelings. Beca started crying and Chloe looked at her concerned. She waved it off, stating exhaustion, but Chloe immediately pulled her into a hug. She cried harder and whispered to Chloe "I just missed you. More than I realized." Chloe nodded and held her while she cried.

Which brings Beca back to day one thousand, two hundred and eighty three. One million, eight hundred fourty seven, five hundred and twenty minutes leading up to this moment. The moment that Chloe Beale said yes to going on a date with her. The first time in four years that Beca could breathe fully again. The moment Beca could feel that piece of her, the one that had been missing all this time, slide back into place.


	2. The Phone Call

A/N So...I really wasn't planning on having a second chapter to 1,283. However after having a couple of friends and a few people on here ask about the phone call between Beca and Chloe I decided to write this part. I'm calling it chapter 1 and a half because it's more of an addition to the original from Chloe's point of view. The song in here is Punchline by Aidan Martin and if you haven't heard it please go listen. It's honestly what inspired 1,283 in the first place. Anyway, without further ado:

Chloe jerked awake hearing her phone ringing. She moved Chicago's arm off her side as she fumbled for her phone to see who was calling at this ungodly hour. Seeing Beca's name on the screen wasn't something she expected. She slid out of bed and answered the call, stepping out onto the balcony of her apartment.

"Hello? Beca?" She whispered quietly into the mouthpiece. At first she thought Beca had pocket dialed her, there was a lot of background noise but she didn't hear the girl that had ceased all contact with her over two years ago. She was about to hang up when she heard a quiet "Chloe".

"Hang on, lemme go outside." Beca said into the phone then suddenly the background noise was a lot quieter. "Mmkay much better." Beca's speech was slurred slightly. "Chlo, I miss you."

Chloe wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to a drunk Beca calling her after so long. She decided to just be honest. "I miss you too Becs." She thought the brunette might have hung up on her, the line was so quiet, but suddenly she heard a piano softly playing. "Chloe, I wrote a new song and I want you to be the first to hear it before it's on the radio because it's about you. It's always about you." Chloe was too shocked to respond, and she felt tears starting to form when she heard her former best friend start singing.

I don't know if I am in the crowd

Do I stand alone

You know all the words, but don't sing along

Every single eye has been watching me

But they don't see

That I am a just another, trying to find a way

To hold on to your loving

Laugh away the pain

I don't need no cameras to see a point of view

I need someone to turn to

Beca was playing the piano. Chloe had only heard her play once before. It wasn't something Beca let many people know she did. Chloe could hear the girl on the other side of the phone sniffling as she continued through the slightly slurred lines. This song was about her, that's what Beca had said. Chloe didn't understand though, this was definitely a break up song, so why was it about her?

I guess my heart never learns

No use in finding the words

If you're never here when it hurts

All the mistakes

I don't want to make

I deserve the truth, but you lie

I don't know why I'm so surprised

No matter how hard I try

If I'm just a joke

Waiting for the punchline

Chloe couldn't stop the tears from falling at this point. Beca, her Beca who she had let leave her two years ago, was singing about loving her. Singing about losing her. Before Beca left for LA, before the USO tour, this was everything Chloe would have wanted. Not a heartbroken Beca of course, but for the brunette to feel about her the way she'd felt for years. Now though, it felt like a sick joke the universe was playing on her. She was with Chicago. She was happy (if she said it enough it had to be true right?) and Beca had left her. Beca had stopped responding to phone calls and texts. Beca hadn't spoken to her in over two years.

You blessed love that we found

You laugh away

So laugh away

I'm just a joke, you don't know

How you take….

Beca's voice cut out and Chloe could hear that she was crying. "Bec-" Chloe started to say but was cut off by the brunette. "I just wanted you to know the truth. Should've told you a long time ago. I miss you Chloe." And then the line was dead. Chloe stared down at her phone for what felt like hours. She was trying to wrap her head around everything that just happened. Beca had drunk dialed her once before, but she'd just left a voicemail slurring the lines of Titanium and Chloe assumed it was an accident. This was definitely not an accident. In seven minutes and fourteen seconds Beca had undone everything Chloe had been working toward forgetting. All of the nights Chloe had told herself she was better off, that Beca was living her dream and she would have just held her back. Telling herself Chicago was a good person and she could love him. She could forget her feelings for Beca eventually. Chloe thought she had, she thought she'd moved on but the way her heart was breaking all over again told her the truth. It had always been Beca. It would always be Beca.

Chloe told herself to forget that the phone call ever happened. Beca was drunk, she didn't call her sober and she didn't contact her again. She needed to move on with her life and Beca didn't want to be a part of that. It might have worked for Chloe too, trying to forget the call ever happened, if she hadn't been listening to the radio in the car with Chicago three nights later. They were on their way to dinner when the song came on. Chloe wanted to turn the radio off but she couldn't make her arm move to the dial. She didn't even realize she was crying until Chicago put the car in park and asked if she was okay. She stepped out of the car and leaned against the door, trying to pull herself out of her head. All she could see were memories of her and Beca, at Worlds, partying with the Bellas, laying in bed together talking about their days. Chicago walked around the car, concern in his eyes as he pulled her into a hug. The car was still running so the song was still playing in the background, not helping Chloe's state of emotions. Chicago pulled back when he heard the radio DJ talking about the artist of this new song that had just been played. He looked down at his fiance and realization came over him. "Chloe, I need to know the truth here. Am I always going to be your second choice?" Chloe looked up with tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry" she said. He stopped her before she could say more. He pulled her back into a hug as he tried to calm the redhead down. "I understand."

Two days later, Chloe was sitting on her couch flipping through old Bellas pictures on her phone. Chicago had just moved the rest of his things back to his apartment. He was so understanding about the entire situation. Chloe felt horrible, she loved the man but her heart still belonged to Beca. She didn't know what to do. If she hadn't been able to get over Beca by now how was she going to be able to? She stood up from the couch to fix lunch when her doorbell rang. She opened the door to reveal Aubrey, standing with ice cream and a stack of dvds. "Chicago called me. " Aubrey said after setting the ice cream and movies on the counter of the kitchen. "He said you might need a friend so I flew in this morning. I have client meetings in two days but until then we are going to eat this ice cream, watch stupid comedies and get over Beca." Chloe spun around at the blonde's last words. "You mean get over Chicago?" She asked, to which Aubrey huffed. "Please Chloe. We both know who you need to get over." She stated matter of factly as she popped a movie into the dvd player and settled in on the couch.

"Now come on, tell me everything."


End file.
